I went to a wedding on saturday, my cousin was getting married, god they are so incredible :) she was so beautiful and happy, I just glowed for her as did everybody else in the church and the groom was no less happy, they couldnt help but buff up them jaw muscles. It was so them, poeple singin in the church "I hope you dont mind, I hope you dont mind that I put down in wooooords how wonderful life is now your in the world"... it's time I share a secret with you guys... I am a hopeless romantic, just as much as a guy could sweep me off my feet with rough language and a firm grasp he could also steal my shoes by naming a song "our song" or invite me to a candle lit dinner in the middle of nowhere under the full moon or a picnic in the sun... *sigh*
OOOH! and their little boy, hes such a little energizer bunny, he keeps going and going and going, he cant even sit still on the aisle!!! hehe, in the middle of the ceremony he just got up and went to the bathroom (IN the bathroom of course... not right there) and when he came back he persisted on making silly faces at the grinning audience =) he sure is his mothers son.

NOW! to my outfit.... IT WAS HORRID! ok, I apologize if my sister reads this I hope she doesn't... well if you do just pretend you didn't :D... now where was I... OH YES! the intensiely horrid white assemblidge I had to wear... and not only wear but spend 10.500 KR on... that was one third of my pay check... holy fuck... nothing so ugly should be so expensive, it was too big, it was too long and what is the deal with shoulder pads, if I dont have the physique attributed with broad shoulders then why would I want to fake it?!!! I looked like... little baby Don Carleone playing in daddy's clothes... and those pants were all wrong... *cries a little*

I'm lonely, I'm intensely lonely, I am also incredibly horny... I do not want to sleep around anymore, I'm sick of that. I want to fall in love and stay in love I want the whole nine yards, I want the perfect guy with the perfect mind, soul and body!

It's so funny, I feel like I haven't had sex since my ex boyfriend.. i'ts like sex isn't real unless there's something behind it, the body forgets but the heart holds onto forever :) I like that, makes me feel like I'm not a discusting sex-crazed whore... I have made mistakes, but if I wouldn't have made them I would have made even bigger ones.. know what I meen?

And now behold your inebriated Fairy, I am sitting alone in the hallway of my vacant house finishing off a champaigne bottle since yesterday... rule: "never spoil champaigne because that is spoiling a good thing"
I feel like some sad little queen's role-model in some sad movie, dreaming of Mr. Right and how she will get him because she will never be whole without him... That is NOT the case however because I KNOW for a fact that I will be allright regardless of Mr. Rights entrance into my life or not, I know I have the mind and heart to do anything I please, I know that if I really would want anything I can do it EASELY! not effortlessly mind you but it would be easy. It's just, at the end of the day, especially in the summer, when you won't go to sleep because there's nothing there worth going to, the dreams are vague and creepy, the cold sheets constrict you and the nightmareish sweat drips into the matress making you feel like you are lying on a block of ice is not a good insentive for sleeping... atleast the dark of the winter makes you scared enough so that the bed is the better of two evils, the cold sheets are warm compared to Jack Frosts fingers.

I love my sister, I love my brother, I love my grandmother and I love my grandfather, just in case anybody is wondering. My Sister is an incredible woman, I think througout my life I have been staring up at the sky, only to be staring at her soal, she is incredible, she is a Lioness... she is THE Lioness, she has strength and power most of us can only dream of, she is strong and intelligent and beautiful and caregiving... I wish I had half of her talents and strengths. Then its my brother, you wont find a better person, he will be the perfect husband without a doubt, he IS sensitive despite popular belief, he is very introverted but we know better :) he is kind and good and strong like my sister, if I close my eyes and try to imagen him I get this image, its a heart engulfed in flames, he wants SO much but I know he does, and he will get these things because they are what he feels make life worth living I believe, hes more lonely then I am :) and he deserves every ounce of love in the world, I know I love him with every fiber of my heart and I know he loves us all too. Girls take heed you will not ever find a better man and more of a man than my brother.
Mom, mom mom mom mom mom mom, I love Mamma, ég elska Mömmu... no words, no sentences no color, no tune, no movement to describe her... I can't even begin to.

and I am off...

byebye
~Spooky

p.s. my birthday is in 6 days (tenth of july)

~piece... just bring me something old, something new something borrowed and someone blue.